Speak words only hearts can feel

2011-03-31T19:48:00.000-07:00

Happy belated 18th birthday to me!

I had a blast, my party was fucking awesome because I had awesome people that gave a flying fuck and came down. Thank you all! Was so happy that they could make it, especially the ones that are very, very important to me!

2010-11-26T14:08:00.000-08:00

Fucking pissed off right now. What the fuck did I do to deserve this kinda treatment man.

I'm filled with angst, am fucking worried, insecure everything and I'm hanging by a thread.

Prove to me that you're still worth the fight.

Prove to me that you're not what I see you as.

Make me feel safe.

2010-08-23T14:57:00.000-07:00

Currently 6AM in the morning and I'm studying Statistics and it's so annoying doing the same whole repetitive shit every time. I'm not supposed to be blogging but I've about 10 questions with parts left for my topic. I need to get Topic C photocopied ASAP it's my exam next Tuesday. I'm hoping that all goes well. I'm listening to Big Bang. I've the strongest urge to go out and grab some food and watch TV because I practically survive boredom with TV. I want to take smoke because it's too cold but I'm too lazy. I hate it when someone announces that he/she quits smoking when they only started for a day or two. It's like.. Stupid. You didn't even fucking start how do you know how hard it is to REALLY quit? So annoying I've friends like that and it gets on my fucking nerves. It's like they smoke to act cool wtf?!! How in the fucking heaven's earth's cb is smoking cool? Anyway, my fingers are frozen and I really need some food.

Bye

It was that direction he flew

2010-08-20T22:12:00.000-07:00

Forget it. I wanted to upload some pictures from our Anniversary but I guess because I'm downloading True Blood and Mentalist my internet is probably being a fucked up bitch like I am. I am such a bitch. Ha ha ha. Actually I'm an ass and no I'm Not disgusted with myself because I look like that and I'm like that. I'm not all simple and sweet looking and siding majority, keeping shit into myself and try to pass it out through the small intestines then act super AA to attract the attention of younger guys. I hate younger guys. Yuck. Anyway, go stick some AA batteries up your fucking anus maybe it'll work better and you'll get more guys. So fucking anal. Okay you rarely get me ranting off like a fucking bitch but today I'm totally in the mood to be a bitch I don't know why. Hmmm.. Had enough. Had enough of dogs (no not cute little creatures but literally you know..) dogs fucking dogs and dogs getting another dog, dog barking dog being a dog (bitch) dog here dog there so gross. It's like these people have no brains or are their brains stuck up their asses and they don't bother digging it out? Come on! Go grow some brains or something what the fuck is wrong with you. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck!!! I hate girls. Well except for a few in my life but I seeeeriously HATE girls to the fucking max. Especially those with cibai cui and won't shut the fuck up for god's sake and worst, those that think they're always right and that they are damn chio when they look like fucking frankenstein with holes in their faces and fucking shit ugly faces. Not saying I'm anywhere near pretty but I don't go rolling my eyes at people and flicking my hair (unless it gets in my face duh my hair is fucking long why cannot ah got problem?) when I see guys and have absolutely bad breathe, think I'm cool because I'm 17 (or older). Such fucking anal people really knn one makes me want to slap the shit out their mouths or kick them off a 100km in height mountain and laugh REALLY loud at them HA HA HA I can already imagine fucking gross. Even my sister hates girls and we both talked about it once and we totally agree with the ugliness girls have. We're very different from the girls in our class (usually) since Secondary/Poly/Shit like that and that's maybe because we mature faster and we grew up together being weird and maybe we're just weird in our way but we like so shut the fuck up and keep your stupid comments to yourself I don't wanna hear it cause whatever's coming out of that pie shit hole of yours would probably be trash so shut up. Weird's cool and don't you dare judge my sister or I'll make sure your cunt hole or your short dick burns. Fucking faggots. Also, I think working in certain places gives you a shitty status. For e.g working in pool/billiard areas are usually ah lian jobs (no offence to non-ah lians but if you're working there you're most probably an ah lian because nobody takes that job) hahahaha sSssssoOOooo... ya which explains too that you shouldn't be working at a provision shop you make yourself look like a poor little shit. Oh shit I've said too much I think I'm getting a little overboard I'm so sorry (no pun intended) really really. Lastly, I don't believe in breaking up and getting back together (pointless, totally pointless to the fucking max), fucking your friend behind your gf/bf (cheap like a 3 for $10 wash cloth) and... LDR (law of diminishing returns HAHAHA WTF pun intended.)

Uh ok that's all bye!

Just needed to get something off my chest :I

2010-08-15T21:03:00.000-07:00

Very late prom pictures X Supper/ Lousy Sorcerer's Apprentice plus supper night

What do I say? I haven't slept for about... forever. My routine this few days have been so hectic I'm like a walking zombie (Yes, okay, whatever, I KNOW ZOMBIES WALK) Let's talk about yesterday? No, the day before yesterday. I stayed up the entire night before. Then I left to Vivo without any sleep about 4 hours before Babykins end work. So I had 4.5 hours to burn. So I went shopping. And in moments of groggy-ness, I think I spent more than I was supposed to. Then, I went to hunt for Ivan's birthday present and I was at a bookstore browsing through a Starcraft II storybook. I had no dinner or lunch, just loads of coffee and coffee. Finally Baby ended work and we went down to Ivan's house in town and I played Mahjong with Augustine, Vera and Jiahwee till about 9AM in the morning while Bby played Starcraft II with the rest up in the room. Ivan's cat, Pumpkin, is the cutest thing ever and I almost wanted to kidnap that little shit. Then me and Baby reached home at about 10AM and we both conked out in 15 minutes. I know this fucked up lack of sleep shit. Then I woke up, watched television with my mom and had dinner with Baby and we watched television together before retreating to the room and I studied Micro fucking economic and Baby played Starcraft II (yes, shut the fuck up my bf is obsessed with the game) And he slept at about 5 while I continued my studying till about 8. Went down to buy his hairspray (my boyfriend uses hair straightener, coincidentally we both have the same VS hair straightener) and milk for his cereal for his breakfast. I pack his bag and prepare his clothes for work. He wakes up and I send him down and I come home, sit down in front of his laptop and found a few pictures and now I'm here eating egg + brown rice.

And yes I still have no sleep.

And yes, I'll be going shopping later at Vivo again to wait for Baby to end work.

P.s. I had the best Anniversary one can ever have. Will talk about it soon when I get more sleep.

Cigarette Sex

2010-08-05T09:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,

Today I had a formal presentation in school which my group attained an A for and I've a relatively high A for this presentation. My friend, B, commented that I got an additional 2 marks more than him because I boot-licked the tutor when all I did was to thank her, I call it basic courtesy. Today, I also got judged. I hate being judged because I don't think judging people is correct and I always stick by the quote by Mother Teresa, "if you judge people, you would have no time to love them.". My words got twisted and turn by a penny with two face and everyone is against me now. I don't like being accused. I'm starting to find more complexity in human nature that is freaking me out. I know a girl. She's.. Simple. Well, not very pretty but pleasant looking I'd say. Strong face with sharp features. Later did I know someone so simple had such a complicating inner personality. She's more than meets the eye. It's scary. I hate it when girls that are known to be on the 'Simple' side show you their true side. Ends up, she's really bitchy and it's really scary. Today, I also borrowed a book from my boss titled "The 7 Habits of Effective People" because I think I need it. People judge. I'm demanding, very fucking demanding. I don't mix work up with emotions, I put them in different baskets. Whether or not you're a friend, a best friend or a good friend, when it comes to work we are nothing but group mates.

I don't take friendships seriously. Most of my friends are come and goes. I don't spend the effort to keep them because they are simple not worth it. Unless they are my true friends, they stay, I don't have to carry their balls for them to stay. I'm not like that. Maybe I've nurtured such a personality through my boss's strong character. It really got me. I love her attitude. She doesn't mix work up with emotions.

But what can I do? Suck it up and not be so harsh on them because quoted from Brenda, when I really want to be fucked up, I can really be fucking fucked up. Anyhow, I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. Then I went home after work today, my Mom cheered me up with cherries the size of....ping pong balls?!! And random questions about my gay neighbors. Yeah I've gay neighbors, one Caucasian one Asian kinda funny to see them sitting on the parapet smoking. Sometimes I want to join them, maybe take a plunge but ha ha I won't die from a height of 3 meters. Maybe I should try.

I know this girl, she looks like she's really strong and she looks like any blow to her would be minor. But who knows that deep down inside she's different. She's all soft and wobbly and she cries when she has to raise her voice. Every time she has that urge to cry, she tells herself, "No I cannot be Margaret." Who was her Primary three best friend that cried every day and pulled her hair all the time. She likes to be dressed to the nines, she's straight forward and she doesn't like people to keep things from her. She's weird and talks to herself all the time. Everything's not looking very good for her but what she have are wonderful family members, a beyond awesome incredible lover and a few, well, less than 5 trust-worthy pals. Well, she likes being alone and she thinks a lot. She smokes a fuck load of cigarettes even when she's sick and is suspected with Mycoplasma P. Pneumonia. She falls sick all the time and has the shittiest immune system ever. She's not a bad person, believe me. Now would you please pray for her?

She's not a bad girl. She's just always being misunderstood. People don't know her. Well, except for her loved ones....

Girls will always be girls..

2010-08-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

It's exactly 1AM in the morning and I'm sitting in my living room with Baby who is playing Starcraft II that he just bought 2 days back and is heavily addicted to it. Quite annoying but it's okay. Parental Guidance is playing on Channel 5.

Life has been good. Yes, good, until a pile of shit cocked up. And I realise how I shouldn't trust girls. I thought I learnt my lessons before already. I tell you, I don't have many girlfriends because I don't trust girls. I hate how they bitch although I know I do it ten times better. Trust me. I have only a few girls that I trust and I can count them with one hand. When I bitch with them, when I do, when we sit and have a coffee or a cigarette, we end up staying there for hours with non-stop bitching. I end up smoking my entire pack and taking a few sticks from my girlfriend before buying another pack and the cycle goes on. Bitching..... 4 years of being in an all girls school, I've had enough.

I entered my school thinking it's a whole new cycle because I was tired of the mundane old bitching about your underwear pattern cycle. I guess I was wrong. Girls, will always be fucking girls. I will be me. But definitely not a hypocrite. I don't behave like I like you in your face and right behind your fucking ass I say you're a bitch and shit like that. No. I. Don't. If I don't like you, I don't like you. All the pretense for what kinda fuckery, yes?

This is it. I've a hell lot of thrashing out to do tomorrow and the thought of it makes me tired already.

Remember this, girls will always have chee bye cui.

Watch me burn

2010-07-18T02:39:00.000-07:00

You guinea pig.

I'm someone with a strong inner but I'm all soft outside. I look like I'm easy to mess with but when you try me I don't think you get away with it. I found out about this approximately 2 years back when a boy tried to take picture of my undies and he had a bag full of undies in his school bag. He was a nerd. He wore specs and had a face full of acne. Never judge a book by it's cover. I screamed and hurled at him and grabbed him so hard because I was raging with anger. I was so mad my inner took over. Protective, angst, violent, crude, everything. I'm not kidding. I almost kicked him in his balls. I managed to keep him next to me till my Mom came down and the police came. I alerted 8 policemen by the way. It was scarier when I found out those undies in his bag were his little sister's undies. I went up one of the policeman and whispered, "Fuck, what the fuck is this?! What the fuck man?!" and the policeman nodded in reply with a disgusted face too. We were all taken aback. The boy was 13.

Two years later I'm even more defensive towards myself. I know of people who don't do their work in a project group. I don't scream at them. I talk. I talk, sternly. I remind them of the fact that it is a group work. I play politics. I don't shout. Two days back one of my group members was supposed to do finish a powerpoint slide that was asked to do a week back. One of the other group mate came up to me and told me this,

"Do you know B isn't doing her work? I told T that I'm soooooo gonna tell you about it and T was like Oh oh oh no no no nononono don't tell Jy don't tell her I promise I will get B to do it."

Apparently Miss B isn't very co-operative. So I went up to her personally and talked to her.

She submitted her power point slides yesterday night.

Be strong,

Why won't you?

2010-07-17T01:11:00.000-07:00

Pictures taken before we went out last Christmas.

Life is good, there's nothing much to say. Good luck and good bye.

Tsamina mina eh eh waka waka eh eh

2010-06-27T20:06:00.000-07:00

My favorite activity: Watching soccer. Listening to my boyfriend go on and on about the best player in the team, about how the guy dribbles past 2 million people or how he scores a goal from a distance of half court.

I love wrestling with my boyfriend. I love tickling wars with my boyfriend. They never fail to make me happy. I laugh a lot. I laugh till I can't breathe. I almost broke my thumb yesterday whilst playing with him. He almost broke my ribcage. That is how rough we play. I have at least 7 bruises on my legs and one big one on my hip.

It's Monday I have school in two hours and I'm so lazy to go to school.

I just want to tell you, Aaron, that you are the best boyfriend ever and I would never wanna lose you nor replace you with anyone else. I love you.

To infinity and beyond

2010-06-25T16:20:00.000-07:00

Caught Toy Story 3, went to Top Bar for Ida, went prawning with Cherry and Albert, walked in the rain with Babykins, having major headache now, hungry too, going out soon.

2010-06-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

It's 1AM exactly and I'm being an 'investigator', like always. Stalking people, guy or girl, dick or vagina, pretty or ugly, fat or slim, interesting or not interesting, in love or out of love, bored or unbored............ So many.

I'm gonna tell you something. Alkdjfalsdfoiejwoiejflksdjf I can't say it out. I'll tell Baby later on but not on this space, it's too much for the public, ha ha ha. Maybe the problem lies in me for growing up maybe slightly the wrong way, or maybe I think too much more maturely than others. If it happens again and I actually believe in what I'm trying not to believe then I think things would be turning out pretty badly.

Work was really fun today. I have an additional bonus of $xxx in my coming payslip! Which is really exciting because I'm gonna and I can do a shit load of things with my next paycheck.

By the way, do you all see the same, traditional change in all the teens these days? I'm a young kid, still (yes, twistzxxz yayyyy). I see it. I've seen my friend(s) evolve from a cute looking no make-up, nothing bad, all prepped and pretty or handsome, studious, clean and crisp to engaging bad influences, enralging (yes on purpose) ear holes (not that I don't want to have them, I was too scared back then of my mom.. when I had a pea brain at the age of 14), getting a whole lot of ink on their bodies (nothing against tattoos infact I want one STILL but somewhere not visible because visible, in the kids eyes are scary, in the teens' eyes are kewlkidz maximum, in the eyes of adults and your future employers you are worthless), then the bad habits develop.. Drugs, cigarettes, sex and everything bad. Worse, they start to cleanly forget the importance of school or find themselves 'too kewl for school' (I've met several people like that and it annoys me. School is good for you, so for fuck's sake GO TO SCHOOL) Not that I luvvvvvvv school but at least I've a pea brain that knows how to emphasize to me that school is essential. Wellllllllllllll, yes/no? Is our generation going too far? You judge (but don't overjudge although it seems like I have I'm terribly sorry)

Okay I'm out of here before I spill the beans.

x

Alejandro

2010-06-16T08:59:00.000-07:00

Today, I logged onto Blogger.com and unexpectedly saw a new comment by a random reader and I'm surprised that someone actually bothers to comment. Because this blog is known to a few, or less than that and I rarely blog unless I'm really free. I felt like I didn't deserve the comment. But, anyway! Thank you, random reader!

School has been fine for me. My new friends are the ones that bring me to school everyday. They're really fun to be with. It's totally different from Secondary school, where I was a loser and all. Okay, no! Not a loser, maybe more mellowed down. I really like my new friends. They're genuine, at least. It's okay to bitch in front of them, they don't mind. And we have related issues to talk about, unlike Secondary School where all I can tell or ask my mates are, "Is there homework?" or "What time is this lesson ending?". Or discuss about Pokemon or other random useless things. I know right......

Even so, I miss Secondary School a lot. Okay, no, maybe lesser than that. A little bit here and there. I remember telling my classmate then that I couldn't wait to graduate right on the first day of school, first day of Secondary 4 and look how time flies, look where I am right now! I know I wasn't having plans for poly education, but.. (sounds cheesy) I believe that God was directing me there. It's been 2,3 months since I'm in poly? But I'm not regretting it at all.

There's so much about my poly life that I wanna write about.

My first formal presentation and second was really fun. I like dressing up formally even though I get comments like, "Omg Jy you look like a slutty lawyer!" or "Pls dont wear your specs you look like a sex teacher". I know I sound like a real newbie right now in poly life or whatsoever but.. keep the comments to yourselves ha ha ha.

Me & Babykins have been doing really fine recently and I can't tell you all how blissful I feel even as I type this out. We've been catching really fine movies, going for leisure drinking and having one-on-one dinners a lot recently and I really like it that he puts in the effort to make me extra happy (because I'm already happy he's beside me) he picks me up from school, we have dinner together, catch a movie then we have some drinks with his pals or head home. I just sent him to work an hour ago and I already miss him.

For the past few days, I've been over at his house a lot. Trust me, it isn't boring at all. I know how some girls whine and whine about staying in their boyfriend's house a lot and the guys not bringing them out, but I love staying at his place. Wrestling, tickling then we nap or watch an old movie online then we have dinner with his family then we'll go take a smoke before I settle my ass on the couch and watch tv with his family and we'll all fight over the last mango (his dad's fav). I've also learnt how to baby-talk. With 2 toddlers plus 2 babies in the house, it's hard to not learn such a skill. We go back into the room and chat before starting our 'war' of tickling or wrestling or a combination of both and today we pretended that we're warriors.

I've been a really toned-down drinker recently. I don't touch much beer in fear of a beer belly, infact we went to a bar last week at Pasir Ris and I watched 3 people finish a tower while sipping on water. I only drink hard liquor in moderation. I gave up going for a drinking session for mahjong and World Cup. Baby makes soccer interesting, I like how he feeds information of each player to me (esp the handsome ones e.g Cristiando Ronaldo) without him, soccer is boring. I don't even wanna watch Spain now since Baby's off to work....

I love you, baby.

That's all, be back soon ;)

Only time

2010-05-15T12:27:00.001-07:00

330AM

The worst feeling ever is to be helpless.

I changed my hair color. It's a redder base and many have told me how it makes me look super pale and fair because I'm already fair. I like being pale. Today, I went to Vivo City alone. I walked alone. This weird guy came up to me to ask for Singapore's police number. I said 999. He made me dial it on his handphone. I walked, and I walked. I bought 5 sets of eyelashes. I couldn't top-up my ez-link card and I spent a good hour walking about being flustered. I found out my pay wasn't in my bank yet.

I'm very emotional right now I don't know what I want to do with my life.

I need a smoke and when it comes to smoking what the fuck are you doing in my fucking mind?

On a rainy lonely night....

2010-05-14T11:14:00.001-07:00

Fuck

2010-04-17T01:11:00.001-07:00

Fuck the rain.

Ha ha ha

2010-04-09T23:02:00.000-07:00

Did any of you own Osh Kosh B' gosh clothings when you were young? Babykins apparently had a lot of it when he was young. He says it's high ended baby clothes. Ta ma de, I don't have when I was young leh how? I very poor ah?

Tsk... My boyfriend is spoilt to the max I want to kick him

Biever fever

2010-04-06T03:49:00.000-07:00

I just got discharged from KKH after staying there for 2 nights and 1 night at TTSH, was supposed to stay for 1 more night but being poked 10 times by a big needle is traumatizing plus antibiotic drips and normal drips + no food no water for 2 nights I almost died so I requested to be discharged and let's pray 2 weeks later my scan shows me perfectly fine okay? ;) Thank you

JUSTIN BIEBER WAH LAO I LIKE A PEDOPHILE GOT A NOT?????

My love

2010-03-31T17:38:00.000-07:00

"Today, because of you, what I learned from you; every choice I made was different and my life has completely changed... and I've learnt that if you do that, then you're living your life fully. It doesn't matter if you have 5 minutes or 50 years. If not for today, if not for you I would never have known love at all... So thank you for being the person who taught me to love... and to be loved." -- If only (2004)

For you, Aaron Lai...

Thank you, baby, for always being there for me. This includes so, so many things that if I want to list all of them down, I'll take forever. When you kiss my forehead before we sleep, taking care of me when I'm sick (E.g Today when I had excruciating abdominal pains, you sat by me till I fell asleep after staring blankly for minutes and when I woke up I see you, still by me, when you have less than 5 more hours to sleep till you have to go to work.. Thank you. That really touched me a lot and I cannot help but smile at your meticulous care you shower on me. And your endless gushing amounts of love..) , when you shield me from harm, even if it will hurt you. Yes, I love all of that. Your obedience when I ask you to do Very silly stuff, just to make me laugh.. Coming back for me when we're bickering and I turn my back on you. Yes, all.. Making an effort to sustain my materialistic needs even if it costs you a bomb. Observing me sleep when I doze off accidentally even when I promise to watch you game then laugh at my funny actions when I'm asleep. Your every effort is always so vivid and yet I always take eons to realize. You make me so happy with my life, all the time. At this moment now, I realize how much I just want to do my best at everything I do just for you. Call me hopelessly in love, sunk too deep, I don't fucking care because you made me who I am today.

You. Complete. Me.

I won't lie, I'm crying whilst typing this because I'm really touched by you (Hence rebelling and not sleeping and blogging this whilst your sleeping). Your intense love, care and concern brings me to a halt and I wish I've never hurt you in anyway and I really, really wish I'm keeping you happy in this relationship, which I think I am. That makes me happier. We've gone through so much, I cannot think how I'll ever cope if I lose you beside me, the always snore beside me when I'm sleeping, accompanying me to various weird places, just for me. Do all sorts of things for me, just for me.

You're wonderful, indescribable, everything I can ever ask for.

Thank you Aaron, for being who you are and who you have been since 080808.

I love you, forever and always.

XXX

Sweetest

2010-03-30T23:30:00.000-07:00

I'm currently at Babykins' house and it's finally our off days after pretty long, I don't know, long? Not really. But we're finally able to sleep without our alarms going off and scaring me awake. That happens all the time because I'm a light sleeper and I'm timid. His old phone's alarm is also very heart wrecking (techno) I see you get my drift now..

I've been watching make-up videos plus reviews and lots of other rubbish related to make-up since 9AM when we came home after meeting Babykins' colleague for breakfast in the morning and Babykins' very hooked onto his online game in his phone I want to delete it. Really. I'm currently listening to a very.. supposedly sad song and it's one of my emo nemo moments because my left eye is swelling. In case you're wondering, Babykins' sleeping right beside me and this aircon is constantly attacking me with ice blasts and the blankie doesn't really help. Okay, it doesn't help at all.

My eyelids are fucking dry and no moisturizer seems to be working because they fucking hurt like a bitch when I put moisturizer on so I rub it off and put Vaseline but I don't think Vaseline is working... Maybe I should use olive oil. Idea.

Baaa I'm so bored right now but I've nothing else to blog about except that I'm actually excited that school's reopening and I.. Really hope my road in poly goes well..

I'm hungry

Universal Studios (Unplugged)

2010-03-28T05:28:00.000-07:00

There are hundreds of pictures but I'm too lazy to upload all of them so yes.

Universal Studios was definately super fun plus I think it's now the best place in Singapore to be. It's almost like the Universal Studios in Aussie I've been to years back! But I already told Babykins that I still want to visit Disneyland/Disney Sea in the states!

Anyway, I've been working thus been busy lately. So caught up in work and Baby. Besides, my colleague (Dennise) and my boss has been treating me too well. My job's incredible.

I had the mood to blog just 10 minutes ago but I lost it, it's okay, I'll come back to this space soon!

(Updated)

For the past few hours, I've been watching make-up videos, reading make-up blogs, reviews, going through various faces and examining their make-up, eating strawberries from Korea and grapes. Khong Guan biscuits. Then, for the past 2 minutes I was figuring out some HTML. I changed my iPhone's ringtone to Crimewave (with the help of Babykins) By the way, he bought his iPhone yesterday so we currently have. Yes. Couple iPhones! With matching casings, soon. In the midst of my make-up video haul, I actually fumbled into Facebook, then a few profiles on the News Feed, leading me to various people's blogs, tumblrs, livejournals, I shall not disclose. Anyway.. I'm starting to see a slight change in some people I've known 4 years back? 5? And it's so cute. It's the Boyfriend thing. I don't find myself having a boyfriend something very cute neither is it very glamorous because I've starting dating way too long ago to remember therefore resulting in my rebellious nature plus, shitty character. Ntkids: Don't date young! But these girls are like.. the cream of the crop in class (maybe school) and they're actually dating! So. Cute!!! By the way, I'm sincere.

Okay, put that aside.. There's also a group of certain people that irks me right to the bottom. Example? Thinking clubbing, drinking and smoking the coolest ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No. Baaaaahhhhhh you make me want to baa like a sheep.

That's about it I have to go back into my make-up video/blog/review haul..

This is how we bleed

2010-03-08T20:11:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when I see people around me so similar to me in many ways, I feel so blessed because I'm not the only one that ever felt that way. Does anybody get what I mean? Yesterday when my director drove me to work. I realize how much we have in common. I know right. Director and employee. But for that split second I felt like I was more of a friend than an employee. Till now, I still message my director in a casual way and leave Twisties on her desk when I leave the office because I ate her Shrimp crackers and she gave me a duplicate of the office key. Vinc couldn't help but laugh at me because my handwriting was damn messy.

Work was fine. I'm currently down with a very bad cough and I feel like utter shit. Later in the evening I need to go down to Xerox then back to office.

I still gotta complete my poly application!

I love, love, love my boyfriend! He's at work now! Faster come home okay! When you're home I'll be on my way home.

X

Where I belong to

2010-03-05T23:57:00.000-08:00

Yesterday. We caught Alice In Wonderland in 3D, had lunch at Sk home, had Japanese Sweet Parfaits, caught up with Babykins' police friend with a couple of cigarettes, saw schoolmates and classmates and I could barely remember them anymore even after staring at them for a whole minute. I've got appointments to make and see to, I've two meetings to make on Monday. My poly application is so troublesome. I've been so fucking busy.

I'm tired. It's been awhile since I woke up in the afternoon. Babykins bought me Hipstamatic and all the lenses already, but my iPhone jammed for an hour yesterday until we luckily found the Epi Centre and force restarted my poor phone. I've got to book an appointment for my body check-up on Monday. I caught Cinderella III just now on Youtube.

My other half did the chocolate bar dance for me yesterday and it was fucking hilarious. Must. Record. It. Down.

X

5:24PM

Jerold says:
this is the best one
this malay guy
same thing
asked me for cigarette
then he talked to my friend instead
then he talk alot of rubbish
then my friend went to buy soya bean

JyluvsssAaron says:
milk again ah
hahahahahaha

Jerold says:
nono

JyluvsssAaron says:
SOYA BEAN
ahahhahaha

Jerold says:
then he left already lei
then we go back in starbucks study
then next thing my friend saw
he saw the guy
drinking his leftovers

JyluvsssAaron says:
OH

Jerold says:
then look at my friend inside starbucks

JyluvsssAaron says:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Jerold says:
while drinking it
as though he didnt talked to my freind
friend*
LOL

Stuck In The Middle

2010-03-03T21:19:00.000-08:00

Edited. It wasn't a bad day after all. I know how contradicting my previous post was compared to the other blog entry I posted before this.. But, maybe I was referring to other girlfriends and that is how I really feel. Anyway, I was in town today with Harriet and Babykins came to look for us. Then we bought Royce and we went home.

Babykins booked tickets for Alice In Wonderland 3D tomorrow at Cineleisure!

Cannot wait because Johnny Depp is in it and I waited for the movie since like. Last year?! Anyway, I went to Sephora today after days of contemplation if I should get the Alice In Wonderland Make-up Palette (because it's quite pricey) and It's. Fucking. Sold. Out. I hate my indecisiveness because I distinctly remember Babykins saying, "Buy ah, if you don't buy you don't love me." I should have not thought twice and fucking bought it.............

And by the way, my make-up today was really Trash

Heartbreaker

2010-03-02T21:26:00.000-08:00

I love mornings -

When I have you next to me, when the first person I open my eyes and see is you. When you wake up grumpily. When we snooze the alarm fifteen times. When the alarm gets on our nerves. When the rooms smells stale. When I prepare you for work and realize you're missing something. When we brush our teeth. While we sit in the living room to wait for your hair to dry. When we talk about our craziest dreams we had the night before. When we walk out of the house. When I send you down. When we have the first smoke. When we see cats and sit and play with them. When you're rushing for work, when we take our time. When you go, when you leave, when you return.

When we meet again.

X

3:17PM

I was sitting on the kitchen counter top eating Tim Tam and I realize how some of my girlfriends are giving me really shit attitude recently or.. ever since forever, I don't know how to explain this to you. It's complicated, like how such matters are.. very unapplicable. It's so hard to tell you about it. I have been accused of ditching my girlfriends after having a boyfriend and I know how bitchy that sounds but infact, what do you all know? Nothing. I appreciate how you girls provide me a shoulder in times of need and I think we have been through fun times and shared tons of laughter. I'm still here for you girls if you need me but I'm busy and caught up with Everything you can ever imagine. So, why don't you girls just call me and tell me what the fuck is wrong instead of whining saying that I've ditched you because I haven't and I Always tell my girls I'm always a call away and none of them realizes that and turn to someone else when they're weeping and tell that someone else I'm at fault because I'm carried away with my boyfriend and have No Fucking Time For You when I clearly said 'Call Me' or maybe come and look for me. I don't think any of you understand what I'm implying and simply think I'm a bitch. Well, go ahead. But I'll rather give up my friends than my boyfriend

because they are simply Not Worth It

Tiger

2010-02-28T17:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was mundane, about the same as the day before. But, at least I went to Sephora for a bit, but Babykins was already all tired and grumpy so I had no time to shop around ION Orchard so we left for Sk home. Had Pastamania before that for lunch.

I still have nothing to blog about.

1:11PM I'm heading to Parklane soon for some job related issues and then to Acid Crue.

The man who went to Heaven;

A man died and because he had been a good person, he went to Heaven, where Saint Peter greeted him at the door.
Welcome! he said. You can enter Heaven right away, but, because you lived such a good life, you can also go and check out Hell first, if you like.
The man was rather curious and said - well, why not - and he went down all the stairs to reach the door of Hell, which opened before him.
Behind the door, he saw many people sitting around tables with delicious food! But they were all very sad, and suffering, because instead of hands they had long knives and forks as arm extensions and they did not manage to put any of this great food in their mouths.
The man went back up to Heaven and said to Saint Peter: Wow, am I glad that I can go to Heaven. That is really some punishment.
Welcome to Heaven, Saint Peter said, as he let the man in.
What did he see there? He saw many people sitting around tables with delicious food, just like in Hell!
And just like in Hell, they also had these long fork and knive extensions on their arms!
But in Heaven, the people weren't crying or cursing, because they were sticking the food in each other's mouths! "Try this", they laughed. "And this!", and they had lots of fun in the process.

Pop The Glock

2010-02-27T19:05:00.001-08:00

1. Late prom picture uploads
3 &4. Babykins playing Virtual Strike 4 @ Iluma's arcade! So cute!
2. Smelly boys, literally (+ very fascinated by arcade games)

Yesterday's movie plan with Baby's colleagues failed and we ended up at Bugis having dinner and dinner was good! Near Top One Ktv, go try go try! (I know there are many food stalls there but try your luck hahahahahahaha) and Kit chun was very nice yesterday cause he offered to treat us all dinner! Thank you Kee-kit! I woke up at 7AM today despite being overwhelmed by fatigue last night after reaching home last night and conking out within 3 minutes or 5 seconds. I. Need. To. Go. To. Sephora. I ran out of foundation yesterday. I finally bought my poor iPhone her cover. It's pink and I imprinted her name on the cover (I changed her name back to Fee-fur, I don't like Ramba, sounds like Rabak)

I don't think I've anything to blog about.

P/S:
To my other half,

I don't think I need to remind you how perfect you are to me because I've told you that umpteen times and I know how you feel the same way. Thank you for working so hard for us. I love you.

X

Behind those masks

2010-02-26T16:24:00.000-08:00

I've a new friend. Meet Insomnia.

I've always tell Babykins Not To Judge people because "If you judge people, you'll have no time to love them." but how many in so many actually Is able to Stop judging someone? I try to keep comments to myself but sometimes I'm unable to refrain from judging in my my Mind and Heart. Silently judging. I don't like to judge people neither would I like to be judged (because of my endless flaws) whenever I judge someone, be it negatively or positively, I feel someone else pointing a finger at me, rating me too. I don't know, I'm Human as well, I guess I'll never kick this habit..

(And I'm starting it all over again) I was browsing through some pictures and I spot this girl. She's apparently gay but Not gay I don't know and I don't give a flying fuck if she's gay or not but she was flirting with My boyfriend in front of me although he claims she's Not but how is snatching his cigarette from His mouth to smoke and saying "I help you smoke ok" not flirting? And I. Was. Digusted. Fine, maybe she was just insensitive and I'm too over sensitive. But when we were having a tiff with each other she threw me Very disrespecting glances. Please tell me that I have to judge such people because I don't need time and dont want time to love them.

Anyhow, work was fine, wasn't as bad as I expected and thought it would be although it was my first day working alone without my friends. I made friends. They were nice. Some weren't at first but gradually changed their attitude. I was quiet the entire day and it felt good to work alone, with myself, getting lost in various places because I'm not a tad familar to the surroundings. But, work was really Fine. Babykins came over to pick me up and we had dinner at his place. We were smashed and crashed. When I came home, I slept and Miss Insomnia decides to catch up with me. I woke up at 4AM, tried to ignore her and tossed and turn till 5AM when I eventually decided to give up and woke up and had breakfast with myself when Harriet texted me. Coffee for breakfast is Never a bad thing. Babykins went for work and today we're going for a movie with his colleagues!

Rise and shine earthlings!

Living by your side

2010-02-25T13:36:00.000-08:00

Anyone that knows me, heard me speak, understand my feelings, heard the way my heart beats, will always come to the conclusion that I'm over sensitive and Jealous. I'm Always jealous. I'm jealous about Everything. When Babykins beat me at a game, I'm jealous. When someone solves a question faster than me, I'm jealous. When I see a prettier girl, I'm jealous. I'm Always jealous. It's in the blood, so hard to just Stop Being Jealous. I don't accept people that I know to be gorgeous, although some really, really are and I compliment them half the time even if I'm Jealous. I don't really care how a two faced bitch I am because this Is how I run, how I make my friends. How I let them know my true self. Or maybe not. To understand me, you'll have to be by me so often, you'll have to open up and speak right through me with thorough feelings. I'll know. I know it when someone's so sincere in knowing you. Not saying you Have To be a sincere friend of mine, I don't really care, I never thought Friends were important neither do I Need them.

Anyway, I hate making the wrong decisions. First day of work and I tell you I felt like I was put through hell. It's not easy when you get to work with Very Fucking pervertic managers/directors and have Fucking desperate colleagues. It's. Not. Easy. How Fucking pervertic? Imagine my director came so mother fucking near me to help me with my skirt. How near? I could feel his breath on my face. Filthy, pungent breath. I so bloody wanted to give him a kick in his balls or something. I don't think I'm nice to mess with esp in pervertic ways. Those who remember the incident that happened in Feb/March 2009.

Other than that, my colleagues refuse to speak Chinese to me because they claim that I'm mixed-blood and Not chinese. Fuck my life. This china-singaporean guy told me in chinese, "You don't look like chinese leh.. you look like ah.. ah the the mis blood.. americant and chinese" I should totally paint my face white and tell them I'm a geisha, maybe they'll believe me.

It's 552AM and I've work at 10AM later, I'm so fucking screwed but anyway it any of them dares to come up to me and fuck me up when I request to leave @ 5PM later.. They are so gonna get it from me.

Good side of the day? Baby's picking me up from work!

Peace

2010-02-25T07:30:00.001-08:00

I. Have. Been. Very. Angsty.

Hand-in-hand

2010-02-21T16:19:00.000-08:00

821AM, I'm waiting for Babykins to reach my house before having breakfast with him. I'm supposed to work @ Calvin Klein today, but I officially rejected the job because I've too many jobs on hand I cannot handle them!

It's this funny how the littlest things in life actually make me so happy. Eating chicken wings on the way home with Pokka Milk Tea on hand with Babykins is such a joy. We bicker over who gets the wings and who gets the drums. We even compare the texture of the meat of them, it's funny to see your other half checking the chicken's meat out. We play like little kids, racing along roads or pathways. We don't care how the other people look at us, what we are or what we look like to them be it with my make-up on or off, whether I'm dressed down or dressed up, whether if Babykin's shirt is tucked out or in, if he's wearing his buisiness wear or normal t-shirts that I buy for him printing, "Smoke something, bitch." or an alien/gorilla face printed on, with three quarters. We. Don't. Care. We race each other, laughing at our hardest, and when we reach our "Finishing point", no matter who reached first, we cheat and say I WON and we get pissed at ourselves. But, the next minute, we look at each other's faces and laugh. We jump and see who's able to touch the ceiling or even surveillance camera. Then we sneakily run away, because we're afraid of the security guards coming for us. Or not. His mom comes into the room and we predict what she'll say again and we laugh our heads off when we plan secretly to shove our earpiece and blast music and snore away while his mom talks to us. When she comes in.. Bingo! Yet again we predicted her words. We laugh as I sit in the corner of the bed. His mom peers in and I laugh. We all laugh and he says, "Baby why you never hide properly!!!" Hahahaha. I take a pair of my three newly bought stockings for work and put them on my head and I take picture of myself. I say I'm gonna put this up Facebook and tag you. He stares at me in disbelief, mouth wide open and after 3 seconds... "No, this doesn't look at me hahahahahhahahahaahahhaaha."

Small things that plays big roles.

Its just Me

2010-02-20T09:22:00.000-08:00

Personality Tests result:

Who is your true self: You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting
But you are really hiding your true self
Your friends love you because you are a good listener
They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner
Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with
The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex
In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive
So you will find yourself with plenty of dates

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life
You want to study hard
Learn as much as you can

The right job for you:
You're a practical person
Will choose a secure job with a steady income
Knowing what you like to do is important
Find a regular job doing just that
You'll be set for life

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure
Scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed
Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control
Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel

Fearless

2010-02-19T15:23:00.000-08:00

I miss those blue eyes. How you kiss me at night. I miss the way we sleep. Like there's no sunrise. Like the taste of your smile. I miss the way we breathe. I see your blue eyes. Everytime I close mine. You make it hard to see. Where I belong to, when I'm not around you.

It's twentieth of Feb. Time flies. I've changed. But I still keep unchangeable traits of mine. 3 months. I realize how Slacking and Bumming Around is such a chore, school's ain't any better, work.. I don't think it will be anywhere near Good. But still, Life Goes On.

Those who know me well; I'm lazy, I hate showering although I love being squeaky clean, I hate it when my room's a mess but I'm too lazy to keep it neat, I lie in the bed for at least an extra half an hour before preparing to head out etc, I'm quiet towards people I don't know, I don't like interacting with Girls, I'm mean, vicious, I bitch about people, I'm jealous. Undeniably, I love cats, I have never been able to keep a relationship until I met my current boyfriend. Everyone's shocked that we are what we both are Today. My boyfriend's changed me a lot, I've mellowed down tremendously since I've met him. I like to cry. I cry whenever, whereever, over the littlest things. I like to pretend I'm Okay when I'm actually not, I'm not a leader, I'm a follower. I believe in Christ but have never attempted to understand. I think a lot. Lady Luck is never with me. I'm a miser, I love money, I love keeping money. I remember getting my first few paychecks wayyyy back. I never spent a single cent on Shopping. And was very Very reluctant to borrow Wilson my money for his tattoo. Yes, I'm stingy. I like talking to cats, or in the shower, alone, I love long talks and long walks with my significant other, or a good friend. It's hard for me to like a song, when I really like it, I put it on Repeat for several months on my iPhone/iTouch. I like to name things arounf me. I'll only be able to sleep in one position - Babykins calls it Prawn. The camera is not my friend, the webcam is. I like to relate sad songs to myself. I'm always forgetting things. My ring. I want to tell you, Baby, that I'm so, so sorry when I forget my ring and look so nonchalant about it. I do feel how you feel; that's Us isn't it? We're so much into each other we Are each other.

I'm just another girl you've met.

I never told you

2010-02-19T15:07:00.000-08:00

I'm finally back home. It's been a hectic week, and next week will be Worse. I'll be working together with Club21 starting next Mon @ Ngee Ann City's Calvin Klein. 6 days a week, no chao geng, chiong only. So me and Baby will have lesser time for each other mainly because when I go to work, he just returned home not long ago. When I'm done with work, he's going to work. I know right, so. Damn. Shitty. Hugh, (manager of 9 stores in Club 21)/friend/boss already told me how this is a Shitty job but I'll just do it since it's only for a month or less cause he needs people at that outlet urgently; Better than burning time at home.

I've been at Babykins' house. Watching him play DOTA until I fall asleep every time. Awake to his stupid face or cuddles (I'm a Very light sleeper) just to wake up and smoke or eat coco crunch or eat lunch or eat dinner. Besides that, I'm always asleep. But at night, I'm wide awake. Anyway, it's 714AM and I just woke up. I'm so bored. I'm meeting Babykins in another hour I think?Can't wait to see you Baby! Then v go eat yummy nasi lemak!!!!!! I think I should just go watch Oprah on Channel 5 now..

Hipstamatic

2010-02-16T11:50:00.000-08:00

I remember telling myself to Keep snapping pictures for Cny and Valentines but I failed because my iPhone's camera is pretty shitty (or rather, my face) so, I shall start my photo spamming, picture flooding spree after I purchase my app and all the lenses. For all you iPhone users, you should get what I mean. Melodie introduced me/us (me and Baby) this new app!

Anyway, cny was pretty good. Baby came over first thing in the morning after work and we had breakfast together followed by me passing him his Vday present - A card, Diam and my twelve minute long video. It was hard to keep all these a secret to him cause I stick to him 24/7 non-stop hit. He almost cried when he watched the video! (Don't deny Baby you wear teary ok!) I'm trying to upload it to Facebook but my internet's being a bitch. Youtube rejected it cause it's too long!

Changed, make-up, went to Serangoon Gardens for a bit before going back Sk home. Start all the Cny routine. By 4PM when we were almost done, we K.O till 9PM or later. Went back to my home, changed and re-did my make-up, went to Vivo City's Party World with Theophane, Amos, Edgar, Edgar's wife & kid, Shawn, Reg & Evangeline.

Bla bla bla bla then we ended up at Butter Factory with Ida, Zoey, Cassandra & cousin. Had tequila shotsssssss (Yummy!!!) and we were there till Butter closed and we went home.

Next day was Kai Nian Fan with my family, then mahjong till 3AM or so, Mcd's, State Of Play, Daybreakers and at 7AM Justin called and he came with Melodie and we talked a bit and we left and me & Babykins K.O until 7PM.

I've got cravings for hor-fun now.

Tell me

2010-02-12T19:01:00.000-08:00

Today I awoke with a heavy heart. It's still feeling right now. Reunion dinner later on, I can't go for Babykins' side one cause he's is at 5PM while mine's at 6PM or later.. Time clash. Tomorrow's Chinese New Year and Valentines' Day! I'm very excited yet not feeling it. I haven't prepared anything for Babykins for Vday. God please save me.

I just heard the most absurd reason why my 34 year old cousin doesn't want to get married. Her boyfriend's a high ranking police officer. One of my auntie's husband is a big shot lawyer. So.. Her mom (my aunt) is on bad terms with that Uncle, therefore the uncle doesn't want to show up at my cousin's wedding and my cousin and her boyfriend thinks that it's very dishonorable because since he's a high ranking police officer, lawyers are very important and increases your reputation and bla bla bla bla. Oh. My. God. Ridiculous.

Plus the uncle isn't very close to my cousin and her.. boyfriend.
-inserts hugemongous sigh plus stupid face-

This is ridiculous. How the fuck does that relate to marriage? How out of the world because if it were to be me I would have never have enough brain cells to be so mother fucking creative to think so bloody out of the box to be able to think so far.......................

My right eye is swollen and it's painful -frowns-

To keep you

2010-02-11T12:29:00.000-08:00

429AM I just finished practicing make-up. I did a blue smokey eye in preparation of my job next week. Valentines' Day is coming, so is Chinese New Year. This Valentines' would be different. I can feel it. My Valentines' day.. I have Never spent it with someone special. Dates, yes. But never was that person The One. Infact. I always watch them leave. 2009's Valentines was a yummy dinner @ Ichiban, Newton Circle to meet Justin, Darwin, Hera, Benji & Wen ning. After that we heading to meet Spencer and Ida @ Fat Cat. It was happy.

Time flies. It's already 2010. Feels like we're in the Future where robots exist (wait they already do) I feel like I'm in Star Wars. This Valentines' Day will be Special. Very, special.

Waiting for Baby to end work and he's bringing me for breakfast. Yesterday's or rather this morning's plan failed. I couldn't wake up. I fell asleep @ 7AM or close there. I'm done with Dicey Buisiness.

Can't wait to see his face, we haven't met for 24 hours. Feels funny. I see him everyday. When we don't see each other for a day, we can feel the bite...

A girl

2010-02-10T14:00:00.000-08:00

It's currently 6AM in the morning. I'm watching my drama online. I'm almost to the end. I'm waiting for Baby to end his shift @ 8AM before picking me up to go have breakfast together and heading back Sk home to catch up with sleep.

I've been good. Was browsing through Facebook just now and it felt funny. Browsed through profiles of different people. So different, set worlds apart. I don't know how I arrive to this kinda thinking.. But I see some of my friends trying so hard to set a status. I don't know about you, but when I saw a some pictures with people, I often wonder why there's a nerdy... not-as-pleasant-looking person inside (not assuming the rest are, well, good looking) That particular person just doesn't fit inside the picture. I wonder why they hang out together.

I've heard of different stories about how Friends treat Friends. From being able to pay for your every meal, taking you to places you've never been, giving you extra money, studying with you, love you, care for you, be your bestfriend to forcing you to eat cigarettes outside a club, despising you because they think you're "uncool" because you wear three quarters and shirt out to town although they've received much good will from you before. I've seen that.

Friends. They're important. But you can never guess what they want, see, need, expect from you you. You want to avoid them, yet you need them. How contradicting.

And as for me.....

Mine

2010-02-10T09:55:00.000-08:00

My thoughts go out to you,my immortal beloved. I can live only wholly with you or not at all.
Be calm my life,my all.
Only by calm consideration of our existence, can we achieve our purpose to live together.
Oh, continue to love me.

Never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

Ever thine.
Ever mine.
Ever ours.

To love, with life

2010-02-09T14:41:00.001-08:00

Good morning. It's currently 628AM in the morning. I left my place ytd morning at 4AM to Hougang Plaza for some billiard session with Babykins & Kc. I know right.. 7AM back to Babykins' crib and we watched Dicey Buisiness online till we were drained completely. 1PM we attempted to wake up. We failed.

230PM. We wash up, changed and left the house to City Hall for my job interview at Mandarin Oriental Hotel. By 530PM I got my job and by 7PM we were at Plaza Sing with Justin, his brother & his bro's girlfriend. 8PM we were shopping at Cineleisure. Saw a few lost friends. 9PM we were at Ion having dinner. 945PM I was at SEPHORA and I wished to die there. By 11PM we were at Cheers buying snacks and cigarettes.

1145PM - Cloverfield
1205AM - Halloween
0245AM - Iron Man
0300AM - Sherlock Holmes

0330AM Rocky starts barking downstairs. And suddenly electricity was all down. Entire Kembangan blacked out.

0415AM lights came back on and we ordered Mcd's. Continued Sherlock Holmes till 0630AM. 0640AM, both idiots are sleeping already and it's now my turn. My eyes are shutting down on me..

Report

You drugged me

2010-02-06T08:59:00.001-08:00

I told you guys u wouldn't blog often. I'm so right! Haha. I've been pretty busy lately. My iPhone's name is Ramba! So cute right. It's a She btw.

Mm. Tmrw will be another hectic day. Lots of things to do on my schedule. Would most likely end with a drink @ Boatquay with Babykins and his very funny work mates!

That's about it..

Only Time

2010-02-04T13:36:00.000-08:00

I'm still wide awake @ 536AM and I see a couple of weird people online. I deleted a few people last week. Weird people. Or people Baby doesn't want me to talk to.

Few hours back, I was queuing at Sk's M1 getting my iPhone 3GS. Then @ Best Denki buying my screen protector, wanted to get the mirror one but Babykins said No! I just finish syncing my songs, apps and I'm converting my comedy videos into MP4 format. I'm so tired, but I can never sleep early. Well, early, yes, early in the morning.

I love you, Aaron Lai. And will always do, even if you leave me, this love will be classified Beautiful. No one else has Ever given me the feeling of such Bliss and.. Love. You're an indescribable feeling that never stops bugging me. I want to see you everyday, every minute, every second. I stare at your pictures whenever I miss you. You. Complete me.

You had me at a Hello.

I love you.

.

2010-02-04T11:27:00.001-08:00

Fuck you, D. And V, thnx for taking care if my * so well. So well till you'll bring her home to your house & try to fuck?! Hello?! Never hear before 'Short, small people, short, small dick'? I hate ah bengs like you. Worthless people in the society. Giving nothing but troubles. Go, go fuck youselves.

Burn in hell. Mother fuckers.

You belonged with me

2010-02-04T01:22:00.000-08:00

As a child, I've always kicked up a fuss when I don't get what I want. I'll cry the entire day, kick around, lie on the floor, skip dinner. Until, I get what I want. I'm serious. Once, mom was so mad with me, she pushed me on the ground pavement & I scraped my knee. I cried & I ignored her for weeks.

You don't fucking lie to me. You don't fucking say yes and change your mind to say No. Just say No straight in my fucking face, you don't fucking waste my fucking time being happy when it all just turns out silly. My throat is starting to feel heavy. My heart is battling with all the good things you've done for me. But I can't take disappointments.

And fuck, I don't like it when people watch me blog.

Fuck you, fuck you fuck you to the max. What in fucking mother mary's hell were you talking about? You mother fucking liar.

I took the 16 coins that I sold Jayden for and bought more food for the other fishes. Jayden was my first fish. I wonder if he has feelings.. Whatever.

-- Via eletheowl

2010-02-03T10:49:00.001-08:00

Everyone’s heartbroken nowadays. But I mean, we all just have to move on. What’s the point of reminiscing when you know the person is no longer worth while; when they’re no longer who they used to be? When their heart is somewhere else? Do you think they still care for you, or are still thinking about you? Because frankly, they don’t.

Back home. It wasn't a tiring day. I had a nap at one in the afternoon and I woke up several times. I checked. No messages. I go back to sleep. I dream of weird people, weird words, weird Everything. I feel weirder when I wake up, when I'm typing this. At 430PM or a little later, my phone vibrated & I woke up to answer the call. It was You. You're finally done with work! I swirled in bed, trying to feel awake. You ask if I'm meeting you, I say yes, call me when you're @ Woodlands area..

"WOODLANDS? HELLO DARLING, I'M NO MORE WORKING @ JE! I'M WORKING @ HARBOURFRONT!"

My reaction: HUH? OH!

Stood up, I felt like I just arrived from outer space. I don't feel myself. I change. I head down & I met this boy (sitting right next to me now). Upon arrival, I send him an annoying text, "Are you excited?!?!?!?!?!?! Reaching soon." HA, HA, HA, Very funny. We had a slow walk home. Had dinner at his place, again. And soon, he was down at his computer playing DOTA & I'm beside him watching Okto & Channel 8. As usual, tv addict.. 4 hours later, we're on our way back here and just 10 minutes ago, he was still at his DOTA and I was still at my television.

I watched The Bachelor & I can't help to think that it's such a loser show with no depth and no love, just money. It just shows how girls these days go for guys with Kaching, looks or for an even better catch, A Prince!!! -sarcastic tone-

That's all. I'm really one helluva bored kid. Heading out for a smoke now!

Every little thing you do

2010-02-02T19:41:00.001-08:00

If you want to be near, let me know.
And I'll never let you go.

Hey, love.
When you ask how I feel, I say, "Love."
When you ask how I know, I say, "Trust."

Veird

2010-02-02T19:09:00.001-08:00

I'm back & blogging feels so funny all of a sudden..

Well, firstly, I reopened the blog just for fun. Don't think I'll be able to update much, too.
1) No time (because, soon after work would be starting!)
2) Nothing much to update, too
3) I feel weird blogging, seriously!

Argh! What a bad start, I just deleted everything I posted. Fuck, Fml.

Anyway, I'm starting school in April. My results were pretty good, and pretty bad. I don't know, I don't like to think about it. It makes me upset. But whatever, doesn't matter. At least I'm in a reasonably good course in poly. I mean, I could have made it into JC, but I just decided one day that I SHOULD GO TO POLY BECAUSE...I JUST LIKE TO.

How weird. My writings look weird to me. I want to laugh, hahahaha. I've all the time in the world today because Babykin's @ work and he cannot answer any calls neither can I call in. So, I've to wait for his call.. Bleagh! So I'm back to blogging. I got a feeling this wouldn't last very long, ha ha! I'm already losing interest to blog already.

Okay, it's 1118AM currently & I'm totally losing it. Losing my temper. Fuck. Okay, I slept @ 430AM in the morning & at about 3AM plus I heard a loud clash outside and I ran out to see what happened. The dining table's hanging lamp dropped. I went back & realize Baby wasn't at all a bit affected. Cool? I cleared up the mess with mom & I slept. Woke up by the phone's & Fee-fur's alarm @ 630AM. I shook Baby to wake him up. He grumbled. Losing my patience, I told him I'm going back to sleep and I don't care if he'll be late because I'm sleepy, tired and I'm just not gonna give a fuck. He stirred, groaned, opened his eyes thinking I already went back to bed. But I was still there staring @ him. With the Fuck you face. Ha ha! Then I went to prepare his hair straightener, wax & ironed his pants & shirt, shoes and socks.

Cold water for breakfast, he can't eat in the morning. He'll have his later breakfast later on at work. Sent him down & caught up the morning with cigarettes & my latest info. Laughed. Still smoking. Secretly hoping the cigarette would burn a tad slower. No, it doesn't. Time's up, he's gotta go to work. We hugged, kissed & off he went. I dragged my lazy bones home. When I'm home, I text him. Till he reaches work & puts his cell away. Lonely...

I make cupcorn, it tastes funny, too salty, I put it away. I make oats with milk and honey. I take a mouthful. My face turned green for a bit. I turn on the television, I watch Ellen Degeneres, I make a face. I switch the channel. Where the fuck is Okto?! I turn off the tv, I look at my bowl of oats. I try to salvage it. I added peanut butter, I take another nibble. I threw the entire bowl away. I sit on the couch, I think I'm a couch potato. I head back into this room. I sit down.

I dig my new buys out -- False lashes upper & bottom. I stick them on my eyes. I looked like a complete disaster. I looked @ myself thinking, "Never looked any better anyway, whatever." Tears them off, and I head to the laptop. I hear my sisters breathe deeply. I turn and I look at the clock. I see almost 11AM. I realise I've been awake forever. I can't sleep.

1132AM I listen to Hey Soul Sister by Train. I want time to pass faster, yet slower, too. I want to go to bed. I look at the empty bed. No, later. I think fast forward, till 7PM where I get to see Him. Have dinner with Him. Nothing beats his cuddles.

I smile at the 1 year 5 months and many days we've been together & I think, "Who would have thought we'd be together for so long?" I smile, again. I look at Jayden, my pet fish in FB. Then Jampi. They're starving. I look at Jayden, again. He's worth 16 coins. I move my mouse to the "Sell" button. I click on it. I earned 16 coins.

I look around the room. What's changed? I look & look. Only Me.

You keep me wishing on a wishing star

2010-02-02T19:06:00.000-08:00